Hi Amy,
What you're going through is PERFECTLY normal. Making the choice to go back to school is very scary, given only 24 hours in a day and so very many activities already jam-packed in there. (If it makes you feel any better, I can totally relate and I work in this field!) The process of selecting a school can be overwhelming as well, so I think your worries are certainly justified, but don't let them rule your head completely.
About taking the right courses ... two thoughts here: You should definitely rely on an academic advisor to help you select your courses. They should be able to work on sequence of classes that will make sense. Professors in the program may be helpful as well. Also ask to talk to recent graduates or other currently enrolled students who are well into their studies who might be able to give you a heads-up as to what classes to take, and when. In my online program, I made the mistake of being too afraid to ask for help (dumb, dumb, dumb) and taking whatever courses whose descriptions I thought looked interesting. That led me to struggle fiercely in a certain instructional design course that required alot of reading and analyzing of articles in peer-reviewed journals ... if I had bothered to ask anyone, I would have learned that I should have take the educational statistics class BEFORE I took this particular course.
As for financial aid, your school should be able to lead you through most of the process, but be sure to also read through http://www.elearners.com/guide-to-online-education/online-education-and-financial-aid.asp so you can understand all the various angles. There are lots of good financial aid resources on the Web - do some searching and keep reading!!!
As for whether or not the degrees you earn online just as good as the one you would receive by going to your local college ... I want to say that I am, obviously, an advocate for online learning. However, it's important to note that there are going to be GREAT online schools and SO-SO online schools, much like there are GREAT traditional schools and SO-SO online schools. My advice is to stick with an educational provider who has LOTS of experience in delivering education online ... just like picking someone to do LASIK surgery ... do you want a doctor whose done 3 previous surgery, or thousands?
Lastly, you have to believe that you can do it ... remember that this is a long-term (i.e. a few years) commitment ... kind of like marriage, I guess. You struggle and learn along the way, but so long as you're truly devoted to your goal ... you will find a way to make it work. I'm married, have a full-time job, a 2 year old daughter, and even some time to go to a Pilates class ... if you want it bad enough, you will make it happen!
Oh, one more thing: don't look for a PERFECT school. There are likely several schools that will suit your needs ...
GOOD LUCK!