My Liberty University Experience

Icing on the Cake

2009-11-21T05:05:00Z

I've had a really long week/month, to put it mildly. Today marked the official last day of non-stop "stuff" going on, things should be winding down for the most part. I will have more mental energy left at the end of the day to focus on school work and not be exhausted. Just the right way to kick off this short season of non-busyness was a trip to my brand new baby niece's house for a night of sweet babysitting. My girls came with me and were just delighted at the sight of their new cousin, they couldn't help but just grin at her and sing sweet songs to make her happy. I brought some homework that needs to be finished up but happily kept it in my bag. (I'm not sure why I brought them really, it hasn't been that long since mine were that young!) There is still a hint of the "baby smell" on me. Nothing sweeter than a precious little newborn, especially one that is only my responsibility for a couple hours at a time! Just to keep these good vibes going, I think I'll keep my books in the bag until tomorrow!

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Anyone else do this?

2009-11-19T04:31:00Z

Do you ever go on and on complaining about something, and know inside you should quit even while the words are coming out of your mouth (or in my case, fingers)? I just earned an 'A' on those weekly study questions I wouldn't shut up about the other day. I really needed the good news too. I was feeling pretty defeated and felt like giving up.

What is kind of bizarre is that the assignment I just received an 'A' on had been turned in before I saw the critique for the work I got a 'C' on...

Earlier today I found a just-because card in the mailbox from a good friend, coupled with this tiny bit of good news I am feeling very encouraged! It really makes me consider the huge affect our words can have on people. I wouldn't consider myself particularly sensitive and yet I can think of several instances my life has changed course because of things people said, sometimes good and sometimes not so good. This should be a reminder to me to carefully consider what I will say, and also to not hold back kind words I am thinking!

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This WILL be a better day!

2009-11-17T12:33:00Z

I hope I haven't been leaving too ugly of an impression on people!!

Today will be better. I woke up early before any hint of the sun warming us up here in Texas, got to the gym and back home before any of my family rolled out of bed, catching up on some reading (for school of course:). I have decided that the world will still turn and no one but me cares if I have a 4.0 grade point average, I have my salvation, my peace, what else matters? I did not establish the goal of earning my B.S. in Religion (am I the only one who thinks that looks funny?) so I could be an honors graduate. Feel free to check me on future whiny attitudes and point me back here!

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Upturn on the horizon? Not so much...

2009-11-17T02:50:00Z

I expectantly logged into my Genesis class this evening, wanting to check on a grade for some study questions I turned in last week...

We are assigned study questions every week, around 20 or so (in addition to A LOT of other work), that are to be answered based on our text readings and other websites we are instructed to review. The first week I attempted these questions the website we were supposed to review was broken, other links we were given did not work, and to top it off BlackBoard was down Sunday (the day our assignments are due), so I couldn't turn my assignment in nor could I attempt to access the broken links again. The professor was aware of the glitches and told us we wouldn't be marked off for information we didn't have. Here's the problem, I now had to guess which information was on the down websites, and which were covered in the FIVE chapters of text book reading. (keep in mind the text book would skim some of the information to be gleaned from the websites, just not the depth necessary to answer the questions.) No easy task. I researched some of the questions with my own sources but still came up with around seven unanswered questions. I e-mailed the professor my assignment, since I couldn't post it the normal way. The following day when BlackBoard was finally working I submitted the assignment properly. (can anyone sense the tone of annoyance yet??) Soon after, I found my grade and I got a B. I hate B's, but hey, it was the first assignment, I'd read the professor's notes on what I was marked off for and do better next time. With the exception of one remark, every single comment on items I was deducted for pointed to the answers being available in the websites that I could not access. Insert DRAMATIC PAUSE. What!!???!!! How stinking dumb is that?! I didn't email the professor immediately because honestly, I was so annoyed I didn't think I could speak calmly on the situation. By the time I could have I didn't care anymore.

Fast forward to tonight. I checked the grades for the next study questions assignment I did. I felt good about it this time. I expected a 98 or maybe a 96. I had had no technical difficulties, so I answered all of the questions this time, I answered all of the questions clearly and concisely. Easy A, or so I thought. Now you're thinking, "Oh, she must have gotten a B" You'd be wrong too. Apparently my work was an easy C. How could this be when I did more work than on the previous paper. I. Don't. Know. I mean, I know why the professor says. I just don't understand why some work not up to the standards he wanted is worth less than NO work.

This is my second lowest grade in the History of me going back to school. (The lowest being that little incident that I forgot to take my test in my Acts Class and remembered at 2:30 am and took it bleary eyed and without studying...oops)

I feel like Charlie Brown right now.

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Probably Going to Cry

2009-11-13T04:01:00Z

During every course I have taken so far at Liberty I come to a point where I am very near tears for being overwhelmed and certain I am; 1. Never going to be able to get all my coursework done. and 2. Going to fail the class. This is one of those times, again.

I'll just be real honest and tell you random thoughts on why I might cry at any moment this week:

*Around Monday of this week my husband said to me, "Hey we don't have anything planned Friday night do we?, Dear Friends A and B want to hang out that night." I thought that sounded like a great idea, until I looked at the calendar and realized my youngest daughter was turning three that day. I had not planned a birthday party for her, meanwhile her big sis turned five last week and we had a Halloween costume party with probably over 40 people in attendance. Talk about "second child syndrome".

*On top of this I have my heaviest work loads by far in both of my courses I'm enrolled.

*And if I'm being perfectly honest my husband and I have butted-heads twice this week! (possibly my fault, maybe a result of being stressed) I mean, we have worked it out, we're fine...but it is exhausting to me and mentally consuming to me to be in discord with my husband.

*Relatedly, I've been extra snippy with my five and almost three year old. I took them clothes/shoe shopping hungry and without a nap, horror of all horrors they had opinions!!! But I was so snippy...not mean really, it wasn't what I said, but how I said it. What makes it worse is they were being soooo sweet and they were obedient when I would ask them to do things. I just pray they didn't notice :-/

*My house is a wreck, like you walk through and it looks okay, but secretly there are piles of clothes/toys/random-things hiding in my room. Which makes finding certain clothes/toys/other-random-things very difficult!

*Several people told me "happy veterans" day yesterday. Which for some reason has never happened before that I remember. It makes me feel embarrassed because I know there are people who have sacrificed much more than me, but I mean, you can't say all that really. When I would say 'thank you' there was an overwhelming feeling of guilt!, Guilt that my sacrifice wasn't greater or that my service wasn't as difficult as other's, guilt that I didn't reenlist. It also caused my mind to wander and be "reminiscent" if that is the word. I don't want it to sound romanticized, because the good and bad memories are so strangely married together if that makes sense!

Let me just say, this is just one of those times in my life as an on-line student where certain circumstances intersect in one particularly busy week, and like I've said before, Life Happens! I will be fine, I know this from experience now. Sunday night will be alright!, next week the course load will be much lighter, the only thing on the schedule will be Thanksgiving!

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