By Susan Smith Nash, Ph.D.
Can e-learning offer hope to women who are trapped in abusive or destructive relationships?
The topic cannot be taken lightly. Abusive relationships are notoriously hard to leave, and education is only one component. Nevertheless, it is an important one, and now, with e-learning that takes advantage of resources and social networking, the information and the emotional support that are needed may now be available.
Abuse does not discriminate. Physical, mental, and emotional abuse occur throughout society, united by a single thread. That thread is composed of shame and denial.
Because the stigma is so very deep, it is very difficult to help individuals who are in such relationships. Further, individuals who have escaped one abusive relationship may slip back into an equally destructive one. The pattern is hard to break, and the damage spans generations.
The stories that individuals tell provide a sometimes chilling look into the realities of abusive relationships and how they damage an individual's future by blocking their ability (emotionally and financially) to pursue their education.
When they do venture into education, e-learning often provides a safe psychological and physical space.
New to e-learning, first-year online student Amethyst S. (not her real name) posted a very moving greeting to her fellow students in the "Let's Introduce Ourselves!" thread. Amethyst wrote:
"I am thrilled to be here. I never thought I'd ever be able to get a college degree. After years of physical and mental abuse at home and then in my marriage, I had lost all confidence in myself. I truly believed that I would have to beg for acceptance all my life, and that I'd be trapped in some sort of self-perpetuating miasma of soul-destroying venom all my life. You don't know how many times I thought about ending it all."
"Only my precious angel, my daughter, kept me from that move. Now, thanks to my academic advisor at ABC College, and my mother, with whom I'm finally speaking again after 15 years of silence, I'm on a positive path. I'm out of the bad relationship. I'm working toward a nursing degree, which I can take online without quitting the job I need to support myself and my daughter. I'm taking courses and I'm a part of a "nursing success network" online. For the first time in my life, I feel true optimism and confidence. I know I can do it. My daughter will have a mother she can truly admire."
Melanie T. described the fear she had of going to a traditional face-to-face class after her ex-boyfriend started stalking her.
"He even assaulted a guy he thought I was seeing. He threatened me. The campus police said they would do what they could do protect me, but honestly, I was terrified. I dropped out of college at that point," said Melanie.
She continued to explain the benefits of the online environment.
"I never thought I'd have a chance to start courses again. Then I found out about online courses. I feel safe and protected — for the first time!" she said.
Tara M. found the discussion forum and the fact that her classmates communicated regularly with each other to be very helpful.
Tara M. also pointed to an often overlooked reality that face-to-face course function in many ways as a dating service and/or singles scene, and that the old 1950s notion that traditional students are going to college to find a spouse is still thriving in some places.
The "singles scene" aspect of the traditional college can be distracting and even disturbing to a victim of abuse. It can be annoying as well to a non-traditional student who does not have the time nor the desire to feel they are being evaluated by classmates as potential dates.
"I found that the threads that the instructor had provided in the discussion board were a lifeline to me," said Tara. "The Virtual Student Lounge, the 'Ask Your Professor,' and 'Let's Share!' were great. I started to realize that I had a support network of people who had the same goal — to learn and to get a degree — and they weren't look at the classroom as a big meat market."
The stories are ones I've seen numerous times in the more in the 12 years I've been developing and teaching online courses. She, like many other women, has turned around her life, thanks to e-learning programs.
There are three things that I have to acknowledge when I consider the stories. All have to do with the power of education to liberate one from what seems to be a hopeless situation.
First, despite popular misconceptions, abuse occurs on all levels of society. Second, education is always a lifeline. However, the way that the education is delivered and the environment determine whether or not the lifeline functions for everyone. Finally, e-learning programs help individuals establish support networks, and in doing so, can help an individual feel he is making progress toward personal and family goals.
Resources
Mayo Clinic. (2007) Domestic Violence Toward Women: Recognize the Patterns and Seek Help.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/domestic-violence/WO00044
PBS (1998). No Safe Place: Violence Against Women.
http://www.pbs.org/kued/nosafeplace/index.html
The Greater Portland Women's Resource Center (2004). Why Battered Women Stay in Abusive Relationships.
http://www.ywca.org/site/pp.asp?c=9oILKWMCF&b=116380
Womensdivorce.com (2007). Women in Abusive Relationships.
http://www.womansdivorce.com/abusive-relationships.html
Additional Resources
A leader in the national movement to end sexual violence, NCASA is committed to the elimination of sexual violence through intervention, education, advocacy, and public policy. The home page includes a listing of Rape Crisis Centers by state.
NOW organizes many anti-violence campaigns and demonstrations throughout the country and provides information on violence against women.
RAINN is a non-profit organization based in Washington, D.C. that operates a national toll-free hotline for victims of sexual assault.
The Department of Justice's Violence Against Women Office leads a comprehensive national effort to combine tough new federal laws with assistance to states and localities to fight domestic violence and other crimes against women.
The largest provider of shelter and services for women victims of violence and their families in the United States, more than 650,000 people come to the YWCA each year for assistance and support to overcome violence.