I feel very guilty about celebrating having received my degree. October was going to be the start of a new, positive, happy era for me and my family. If you've been following along with my blog for a while, you know that, as a family, we've all been through a bad patch. I thought things were on the upswing for us and that I could look forward to building on receiving my degree and find a little bit more joy. Unfortunately, that is not the case.
I got the news a couple of days ago that my cousin passed away, completely unexpectedly.
She was only 35 years old, and sadly, she died due to an undiagnosed condition. There's some debate as to whether she would have been able to extend her life significantly even if her condition had been diagnosed, but of course all of that debate and discussion really isn't productive. Diagnosed or not, she did suffer from a very serious condition that needed to be treated and that it was something she never had looked into. Perhaps she never even realized she suffered from a problem, because I can't imagine that she would have let this go without being looked at. In the end, what really matters for the rest of us is that she leaves a husband and two children behind to deal with the aftermath. Our family is, naturally, providing them as much support as possible to help them get through this very, very difficult time.
Sadly, I hadn't yet had a chance to share my good news with her. She would have been very proud to learn that I've finally received my degree after so many years. Since she lives quite a distance away, I was preparing to drop her an e-mail and let her know the good news. I would have even scanned the degree and sent it along for her to look at if she had wanted to.
It's tough. It is really tough and hard to reconcile when someone so young just ends up dead, without warning and without the chance receive treatment that may have been able to extend their life, even if only minimally. But in the end, life goes on, of course. And we'll trudge forward and hope and pray for happier days.