This week’s case study was over the Columbia and Challenger
space shuttle disasters. I actually
learned some things about the ramifications of an organization not facing their
shortcomings and the disastrous effects that can occur because of this. I started to think about how this applies to
education as well, more specifically my own situation. My problem in life has never been a lack of
drive or initiative but perhaps I do lack an understanding of my limitations at
times and push a little too hard.
Perhaps it’s because I’m a man (according to my wife), perhaps it’s
because I’m Irish, perhaps it’s because I really am a red headed step child,
but whatever it is I have some of it.
Okay so I’m not so naïve as to jump on American Idol thinking that I’m destined
to be the next Elvis Presley or something but I have had the occasion to make
much ado over such trivial matters that I lose sight of the big picture. Case in point my goal of a 4.0 GPA. For those of you who have read my blog for
some time you know that I have truly sacrificed and gone beyond what a sane
person would have endured in order to preserve a 4.0 GPA. When my GPA was threatened in my last class I
almost lost my mind. I pushed for
perfection in a graduate program, not just any graduate program but a MBA
nonetheless. Why? Because over 12 years ago some moron in an
office told me I wasn’t cut out for college.
Will I ever see this person again?
Not likely. Does this person lose
anything or gain any measure of respect for me if I prove them wrong? No.
What changes if I graduate with a GPA of 4.0 or 3.5? Honestly nothing, I will still have an MBA
and that’s the big and small of it.
Strange as it may seem, I’m 7 weeks away from an MBA, I still have a GPA
of 4.0 and at this point I am just content to finish. Weird huh?
I think I’ve finally proven my own capabilities to myself.
Now here’s the rub, the PhD. Do I really
want one? If so why? I can think of a ton of reasons not to get
it, I can think of a ton of other master’s degrees I would rather have. I think of all the afternoons throwing the
baseball around that I’d be giving up, or playing in a band, or simply writing
music or spending time with my wife and family.
Honestly I think the primary drive for getting a PhD has been because I
needed to prove to myself that I could, whether it was healthy for me to do so
or not. I think that I am
learning to let go a little though. I
don’t feel I have anything left to prove to myself or anyone else. So when considering a doctorate I have
decided that I will do so with the recognition of my limitations and with the
knowledge that I am not willing to sacrifice as much for my doctorate as I have
for my MBA and that’s the truth.