Today is the day that I dread most of all as a student. Textbook buying day. Today is the day that I learn that a book for my next class will run $165.00 each only 6 weeks later to be worth either nothing or about $35.00 on the buyback. Like taxes and the price of gasoline however you’re forced to just take it. Talk about one of the nation’s best kept scams, right?
So what do you do with those books that they charged you $100.00+ for that they don’t buy back from you? You could donate them but more likely than not a charity will just feel you’re pawning off your junk on them. So I got creative and made up my list of “alternative” uses for old textbooks.
1.) Send them back to the publisher explaining that they can reuse them. All they need to do is change the forward and the edition number then they can rake in a whole new boatload of cash.
2.) Send them back to the publisher with a death threat enclosed. (actually don’t really do this)
3.) Two words, compost pile.
4.) Camp fire kindling. Then you watch what $100.00+ looks like when it burns without destroying any actual currency (which is a crime).
5.) You can throw them at people you don’t like. Watch out for those Law and Biology books however as this may constitute attempted murder.
6.) You can use them as boat anchor.
7.) Two more words, body armor.
8.) Use them for speed bumps in your neighborhood.
9.) Give them to the IRS with a note from the publisher that they will pay all taxes in the future with old textbooks in lieu of cash. You know, turn the world’s two biggest leeches against each other and watch the sparks fly.
10.)You can use them as an impromptu wiffle ball bat.
11.)Use them on your bookshelf to impress people…or to get their sympathy as in the case of those of your coworkers and friends who themselves have been subjected to this injustice.
12.)Stack them and use them as end tables. Heck, after paying for these you won’t have any money for real end tables anyway.
13.)Send them to Afghanistan to be dropped upon the unsuspecting Al-Qaeda below. Try to use Law and Biology books if possible.
14.)Send them to the oil companies with a note explaining how the textbook have a leg up on them in the “screwing the general public” industry.
15.)Send them to President Bush. Heck, he needs a clue.